Sunday, 15 May 2011
nearly 2months since last blog and I really feel like I've not fulfilled my obligation to this supposed 'warts and all' accompaniment to my ironman journey. Feel I should make up for the last few mnths all at once but truth is I just can't bring myself to put others in the firing line and expose them to what I'm able to do with my life; be honest, open and up front. Well.. I guess I better do some explaining to some extent as I've just been absent..where I start is another matter. Let's get the Ironman specific stuff done n dusted first. In no way possibly can you describe my schedule as typical..nor normal, or even recommended as a plan of action..indeed it has been an absolute mess of a plan as far as 'the norm' goes, but you know what? It has been as much as I can, as hard as I can, and with the passion and determination that defines me. I have had times of absolute fatigue, but have pushed thru that because I have done what I always do; put myself up there to be judged..and I will NOT take the easy way out, ever. I do not know how to quit, be a slob, be the norm. As I always have said.."there ain't no such word as 'can't' " I'll do what I say I'm gonna do, or at least I'll try harder than most to fit in the effort and show the guts we all have but seldom know how to use. Well. I am out here..I have my kit, my fitness and my attitude ; my best quality. Negativity, excuses and blame do not live in my make up, I'll take it all on the chin if I have to, and dammit I'll mostly try and do it with a smile, life is too precious and delicate to be angry and resentful. There are some attributes within me that may need explaining. This is not an easy part of this openness, and it has taken me til now to even consider laying my thoughts on the line on this issue. My mental fortitude has most definitely been sculpted by 2 major physical events in my life. In 1998 I was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis and kept in for a few days, 2 weeks later I was on a drip, wires and fighting for my life with encephalitis, and I promise to you all now, I was most definitely thinking I was a dead man. I had already made my peace, accepted my fate, and was ready to not wake up. Yes really. But I never gave up totally and made it thru. No words can ever describe what I felt, saw, experienced. Absolutely no words. And I am eternally grateful to have experienced that, yes, grateful..it has cemented my attitude toward life, affirmation that my view of 'seizing the day' and 'making the most' was the key to a happy life. 2nd issue-and bizarrely a source of amusement to my old football team pals. My back. I spent over a year of aches and pains, b4 I collapsed on the floor and eventually got diagnosed a further year later with slight spina bifida. The word slight makes no allowances for pain, I might add. Every god damn day I have to stretch, mobilise and strengthen just to prevent pain. I hate it. With a passion. It hurts, every day. EVERY DAY. It is no fun, and I resent so much my old mates for taking the piss. Conversely I am so proud that I refuse to acknowledge it as a problem. So fucking what? I don't have big metal rods in my back and I can do whatever I want. So the doc says maybe I'll be in a wheelchair in the future? I'm not now, and that's all that matters. So. Who wants to know the personal deets? The love life if you will? Well..things were never perfectly set in stone with Emma, and I always thought something was missing. I don't know what. I can guess, can make assumptions but at the end of the day maybe it's just that 'something'. And that something was not there. Now to the here and now. I don't know how this really started, but. Claire(Fletcher's mum) and I have been talking, chatting whatever you wanna say..and we are getting on more than we have done b4. Well, it feels like it did way back when and is a very happy situation. Comfortable, fun, familiar, connected. Really did not expect this to be the situation but I'm loving it tbh. And Fletchypoos is seemingly blooming as a consequence. I now have a fan club flying out to support me on Weds and can't wait. Leeky out xx
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Shit-is it? Already?? Blimey-time flies when you're having fun, huh??
FUN?: your definition please, Mr. Kennedy.
Errrrm..well, insofar as my training is concerned, I'd pretty much have to say I have really REALLY enjoyed being so 'thrown into' it, day-in, day-out. No, honestly I have..there have been some horrendously tired moments, but mainly due to that bloody thing called work getting in the way; getting home at 01:00ish one week, getting up at 02:30ish the next plays absolute havoc with the ability to switch off and sleep for more than just a few hrs at a time. But the actual time spent swimming, cycling or running has been great; felt really comfortable and ever more so 'in the groove'. I seem to have ingrained into my being the routine of(and need to, maybe) regular, meaningful, training sessions. I've been getting a bag ready for work at 8pm, ready for an 03:00 commute on the bike, and been looking forward to the crisp, quiet morning air; I've found myself day dreaming on the way home on a train around midday, thinking about which route I can take for a run, once lunch is out the way, or of how many/how long the sets in the pool will be, how I can keep the interest and work myself. So I obviously am enjoying it, so it must be fun, right?..Right?? Just ignore me when I look like a zombie, and have a face like a smacked arse, it's just the lack of sleep!!
One piece of sad news this month to report.
My Nan (Dad's mum) died after a period of ill health, aged a whopping 90 yrs old.
My last grand parent has gone off to wherever it is they go, to prepare biscuits, cakes and sweeties for me, for whenever it is I'll get a chance to be spoiled rotten by them again. She's having a much deserved rest after a life of looking after 10 kids, and dozens of grand kids. Sleep well xx
I'm feeling less pressure and stress in general, thanks(?) to the lack of relationship constraints, and trying to spread myself too thin all the time. I've been able to use my rest time properly and actually put my feet up, relax and recharge. And I have noticed the difference in a massively positive way; I fear the above paragraph could not have been on the subject it is, had I not learned to switch off when needed. I have also been able to have some great times with Fletcher without the need to have us 'fit in' with others, just me and him, mucking around, playing and enjoying our time together. Those are happy days indeed.
Breaking news: Hastings Half done (with some Team Outrageous guys) in a Personal Best time, and sub 8min/miling for the first time in a race above 5k.
Races to date 2011: Thanet Duathlon 2.4M/9M/4.5M Time: 02h30m (fun only) Cold water swim champs-Tootin Bec Lido. Relay, 30m(freezing fun)
Kentish Killer cyclo-sportive: 72.8M in 05h34m (inc 2 pitstops for munchies)
Hastings Half-Marathon: 01:42:28
Stats for week 7:
Weight 13st 3lb (-4lb)
Body fat % 14.2 (-.4%)
H2O % 62.2 (-)
ta ta for now
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
The Good, The Bad, So Hug Me??
Hey ho, here we go with February's 1st blog..
since last time around:
Training is really getting in the groove, weight is dropping and I've got that exercise addiction feeling going on. Regular sessions are really moreish and are self perpetuating; the more I do, the more I want to do..something, anything!..Swimming is becoming strangely.. easy??, I've gone from forcing myself thru half a mile to 'just pushing on' thru 2500m in 50mins within 3 wks-because I was enjoying it so much! Running is feeling comfortable, and more so it seems with every pound lost; quite happily doing 7miles @8m30s per mile pace and not feeling like I'm working too hard. No ankle issues either. I've got a good, fast cadence(>80) going on the bike, 15mph ave. pretty much everywhere, on fat 25mm commuter tyres, and up to 45 miles of rolling hills(pretty much all I ride) now.
Hmm..so, did you hear about the 'relationship issues'??..no?? Well, here's the news-I'm having to accept that I've relegated myself to the single league again. Not an easy thing to explain, but...I have a job that is time consuming; sometimes up at 03:00 one week, sometimes home at 01:00 the next, leaves you whacked. My boy doesn't live with me, have to make time for him to come see me, spend time with me. Have to. I need to train, as I've decided to join the circus of 'later life sport' (which to be fair, will benefit me, and my boy, so I certainly don't see that as a selfish pursuit) which also requires allotted time. Time for myself?? Hmm...maybe not, if you are seeing someone with kids of her own, like a bloody military manoever fitting in-between different families. Couple this with the fact I really, REALLY don't like not living with my boy, and sometimes spending more time with the 'other half's' kids..well there's just a volcano of discomfort waiting to manifest into an emotional 'blowout'. I just can't be a nasty, tantrum-prone man, so for me, it was easier to remove myself from the problem equation, and concentrate on what, right now, is important; My boy's relationship with me, work, and me(and my sporting lifestyle).
So Hug Me??
haha, well..maybe not YOU-but the metaphorical hugging I'm benefiting from right now is in the form of just talking more to people I need to. Old friends from school, the Triathlon, running and cycling community and online world..discussing things that are just, you know, 'me'. And of course-my real hugs from Fletcher, my boy wonder and raison d'etre. Nothing ever quite makes me so happy, needed, or determined to be a relative success than one of his best, and the accompanying smile.
Races to date 2011: Thanet Duathlon 2.4M/9M/4.5M Time: 02h30m (fun only)
Cold water swim champs-Tootin Bec Lido. Relay, 30m(freezing fun)
Jobs to do this week: Prep bike for Kentish Killer sportive
Stats for week 7:
Weight 13st 7lb (-4lb)
Body fat % 14.6 (-1.4%)
H2O % 62.2 (+0.7)
ta ta for now
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
Been a while since the last post, and not really got into anything like a routine until just recently. Manflu, twice, snowed in, twice, and the stress that places on worklife and more importantly, seeing the boy, kinda pooped my party! Been doing little bits and pieces of training since the turn of the new year, getting the body ready for more 'proper' stuff, and feeling positive to the whole(huge) task ahead.
Now as good a time as any to start back on the blog trail, so..........
There are now just under 19 weeks 'til the big day on Lanzarote, and to be honest, I've gotta say, considering the above, I'm pretty happy with the condition I'm in. I'm comfortably 8min miling for upto 30 mins or so, but am also comfortable upto 8/9 miles of plodding too. To put that into perspective, that's pretty much better than previous early year 'form'. Cycling legs are good enough for an hour of grinding through mudbath marshes on the MTB, and an hour commute to/fro work is a walk in the park. Swimming good for half mile or so in comfort.
I've somehow miraculously managed to avoid putting on weight, even a few pounds lighter than 2mnths ago after a few short, sharp sessions interspersed with a couple of longer efforts, since Xmas.
Time to get some better planning of sessions and some specificity thrown into the mix.
Races to date 2011: Thanet Duathlon 2.4M/9M/4.5M Time: 02h30m (fun only)
Jobs to do this week:
Get the road bike into commuting/winter training condition-new tyres, mudguards, clean/lube/overhaul of drivetrain, including fitting sprocket for hillclimbing.
Stats for week 2:
Weight 13st 11lb
Body fat % 16
H2O % 61.5
ta ta for now